PACT Therapy

Developed by Dr. Stan Tatkin, PACT is a fusion of attachment theory, developmental neuroscience, and arousal regulation. PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) is a type of couples therapy that quickly gets to the heart of what's happening with conflict and tension in your relationship. As a PACT-certified therapist, I observe and cut out a lot of the confusing talking and arguing about who's right and how to fix a given problem. Instead, I look at what’s really happening in your brain and your emotions when you fight. If you were in a couples therapy session and you were stuck, I might slow you down (we all know how sped up and out of control it can get when you’re in conflict) and help point out what’s happening with your body and your emotions.

Here are some of the principles that underline the PACT method:

1. Attachment 

We are all looking to feel loved and cared for. We want to be made a priority, to feel secure and special to our partner. The therapist will help you learn how to create a securely attached relationship. In such a relationship couples know how to take care of each other, to guess each other’s thoughts and feelings, to respond to their partner’s distress and attempts at closeness, and to have each other’s back.

2. Regulation

When we get too emotional, we act out of our survival instincts, so we can’t really understand each other and empathize. The therapist will help you manage your feelings so you stay within a range that is manageable and you can actually listen to and understand each other.

3. Automatic Responses

Since being close to our partner is so crucial for all of us, we usually respond to cues from them with a fast, automatic, knee-jerk reaction–such as changing our tone or subtly becoming more distant. Most of the time we don’t even know we do this, but our partner is still unconsciously affected in a huge way. Learning to recognize your automatic reactions, and what they mean for yourself and your partner is a big step towards a more connected, satisfying relationship.